Hard decision – when taking care of ill is getting impossible…
Human life is a constant series of different choices. In fact, a man can say that he is being sentenced for choice. He can not choose. Even when he does not choose, consciously withdraws from any choice if it performs well. Elections are different. Some are simple and do not pose major difficulties, and others, on the contrary, are difficult and complex, they make our lives sometimes stops. Difficult choices can paralyze us, confuse, especially when you do not have good knowledge of the situation against which they appear. And it is because behind every choice there are some values and good, something valuable for us. This can be good or high value or low. But not always able to accurately identify them, and sometimes that is not always able to correctly determine which are good value and have higher and lower, which should give priority to the implementation of a move. Tough choices, which are an integral part of our lives, lead to conflicts and dilemmas of an existential and moral. The dilemma is one situation in which two values come into conflict with each other, most of these values are high, but not always so it must be a solution to the dilemma is inevitably associated with the rejection of one of them, which can lead to guilt, guilt. Especially moral dilemmas are often difficult for humans. This is because they relate to important things for him in which he is involved, not only intellectually but also emotionally. Moral conflicts always affect us personally. Require us to opt for high moral values at the expense of lower values to which we are attached or rejection of any other high-value, which stood in front of an equally high. Faced with the moral dilemmas are looking for different ways to address it. We go to the authorities to get advice from them or they on their own trying to get out of a difficult situation. Moral conflicts and dilemmas are a whole bunch. The literature has developed on this issue hundreds of studies. I would stay on a dilemma that is increasingly becoming the participation of contemporary man. He discussed it at home on internet forums and seminars on ethics, more often the problem occurs in the social debate. It addresses the problem of putting their parents to different medical care facilities or nursing homes. It is worth asking, what is the essence of this dilemma, and why for some it is a dilemma, but not for others, whether it is in fact in every situation something impossible to solve, something that must arouse remorse, guilt? Or in some cases, it is apparent dilemma, artificially created by the lack of proper discernment case?
Let's start with the fact that our society can be divided into so-called. traditional societies, when it comes to family values and education. In traditional societies such as ours, there is a certain hierarchy of regulating intercourse between children and parents. These values we learn in the process of socialization. It consists in the gradual assimilation of force in a given culture norms, principles and rules of practical conduct towards others. Learned (or as it expertly defines internalized) values become part of the incentive system, activate our operations in accordance with standards beaten their implementation. In our native culture are also the principles and rules which govern our relationship with parents. These rules are generally the nature of standards recommending specific duties to them. An example of this is the commandment of the Decalogue standards, "Honor your mother and father." Standards of this type are so socially justified and religious (the Ten Commandments) One of the practical rules, which is a consequence of the previously cited at least standard for respect parents, the rule is to help parents in a difficult situation that such a disease. No one should leave his parents without help, when they will not be able to take care of themselves have their own broad interests. In our culture, it is a moral obligation to help parents in difficult situations, such as old age, illness or death of a parent. The attitude of parents to help in any of these situations is socially accepted and positively evaluated.
There are, however, and some situations where this rule of thumb to help our parents can not be realized, when on the way to the realization there are objective obstacles beyond our control and our fault. Of course you need here to distinguish between the following cases:
A lack of implementation of assistance to parents is a result of our negligence, due to our unwillingness, selfishness, tendency to easy and pleasant life for the sick or a single parent can be a serious limitation, and when it does not depend on our subjective reasons,
B. lack of implementation of assistance to parents is a consequence of our physical and psychological constraints that hinder us to take adequate action to the situation, in terms of human and characterologically mentally weak, which can not carry the burden of disease father or mother.
Do not hesitate to say that in those cases where in a conscious and voluntary rezygnujmy to show our parents due respect and help them commit the act morally wrong. When I withdraw from them as a result of assistance selfish motives, guided by a sense of comfort and stress-free life, then wrap a test of our humanity. These extreme cases, and how irresponsible abandonment of the principle of helping parents are not the only situations in which we are faced with a similar problem. You can not under any circumstances make paradigmatic, nor dispense them other situations that need to be clearly distinguished from them. In the case of psychological or physical factors to help parents prevent, not pododaje their moral assessment unless they are caused by a person intentionally.
There are in fact situations (C) in which the realization of the rules to help parents is simply impossible, as it exceeds our ability and strength. Medical conditions such stands that require special and medical help. We are not able to meet these requirements, and the patient needs them proudly looking forward to the rest of your life. In such situations beyond our ability, do not hesitate to say that we are morally obliged to give our dear father and mother to the appropriate medical care and to provide them with professional medical care. In this case, we should not have any moral dilemma that we close our person. You have to remember that not everything is in our power, in such situations has mainly good of a loved one, we are not able to provide.
You have to fight the negative stereotypes and prejudices that can be seen in our society regarding the donation of parents to care and treatment. They contribute in a decisive way to the development of untrue and unfair image of such institutions. Do not miss one day and not missing and today people who use twisted rhetoric appealing to the emotions and prejudices of culturally-established commitment to try to convince that any father or mother to a medical facility - a care home or a quiet autumn is a moral evil, not as an act of man. Often put forward such arguments are and the parents just to have children and to raise them later in old age and ill children to take care of them. Still others relying on arguments drawn from religion, they believe that putting the so-called parents. care to the various centers is a violation of the commandments of the Decalogue respect their parents. It is believed such behavior by refusing to honor their parents, and estimates. For many, especially believers, it is a solid bogey causing remorse. Is justified is another matter! This type of pseudoargumenty cause a lot of damage to people. Cause unnecessary and morally unjustified guilt for the evil that it really is not committed. Regarding arguments that parents have children so that they took care of them in old age, it can be stated: If parents have children just so that they took care of them in old age, to act selfishly. The child has to be the fruit of love and not ingenious calculation. If a child having any, lies a utilitarian calculation is morally repugnant. These parents hurt their children by setting them to a predetermined function in life. Such decisions often take revenge on the parents who are trained, because they do not educate their children to the later role of carers. Appointment is by some to human rights also raises the Decalogue moral objections. Firstly, how to use these arguments? You have to differentiate between situations well when giving parents made our fault and when it is forced by objective and independent of our circumstances. This argument can be binding only if the situations described in section A. As all too generalizes the problem. Uncritically all pulls to one paradigmatic cases (mentioned in Section A), and believes that every father or mother's devotion to the care home or nursing home fall is the result of selfishness, lack of respect and due honor and moral sensitivity. This argument is also used as a convenient instrument for inducing unjustified remorse and guilt.
Care centers - healing is not death house in which the patient wears but professional assistance centers where complex pain and suffering can the dignity of the patient in the presence of medical professionals and families to live the rest of your days. You have to end up with guilt telling the people that decide to donate their step-parents. Rather than give up their harsh assessments and weaned from the reverence and faith, you must first empathize with their situation. To understand the conflict of values in which they find themselves. It is a pity that these fall mostly unfair assessment of the lips of those who have such a choice they never had anything to do. But this is perhaps our human nature, the most we talk about what we do not have the proverbial "no idea" ...
The decision to donate their parents to care and treatment, even when there is such an objective necessity, and we have a deep awareness of the need, it is never easy emotionally. Even if all the reasons cited, it must be somewhere in the depths of each of their parents genuinely loving man, there are doubts in the form of questions, if I am doing the right, whether it is ethically right, maybe I should not do that, can he cope with the difficult ago challenge? Often there are thoughts that after parents did not want to this, so they put effort into my education, that we should repay them for it is our immense help and care in this situation. These thoughts arise in a situation of dilemma to give or not to give are as natural as possible, they should not be ashamed nor deny the power. They are the consequence of one side of our relationship to the parents on the other hand are activated by culturally assimilated the principles and practical rules which govern our relationship with them. Emotion is one thing but a common sense and accurate understanding of the situation is another. These emotions need to be fully respected. They can not be questioned. Although they reveal inside our genuine love for their parents, they should not, in my opinion, by no means, the only reason a conclusive end our choice. Emotions tend to be in fact a bad counselor. They can bring us a lot of misery and unnecessary anxiety, arouse unwarranted guilt. In this situation, it is important to not only their own insights but also to go to, if necessary, the assistance of competent people who, with their advice can help us shape the right choice. I mean doctors, psychologists, ethicists and clergy.
Plant care - treatment "cordial Care" in Krakow offers professional care to all people suffering from various ailments. Offers help, which we are not always able to do for our suffering parents at home. The facility was created for those who are facing the dilemma of parents to donate their loved ones, for those who are looking for such a place where their loved ones will feel safe and most of all dignity. "Cordial Care" gives all the suffering and the needy their "warm hand". Without exaggeration, we can say that the plant Cordial Care, working in the doctors and nurses with full attention and dedication of every day pursuing lofty ideals expressed in the timeless ancient Hippocratic Oath. Under the banner of noble ideas of humanism is rooted in the idea of the dignity of the person is realized in the framework of hard and selfless work for the good of the patient understood multidimensionally. When you exceed the threshold of this institution, refers impression radiating around the incredible kindness and friendship which are surrounded by residents and their aura enveloped in sorrow and pain the family. Radiant smile, kind gesture staff physician friendly handshake and a good word, build authentic atmosphere of trust, love and respect for the man. Support when someone leaves a much needed, get everyone. No one there is not left alone. All-encompassing experience there, "the heartfelt concern". "Cordial Care" is not just a catchy name, or cheap leaflet aimed to attract interested parties. This name fully reflects what is going on inside her. This heartfelt concern primarily shaped by people, kind and anxious and that from the very beginning through to its board of administration and protection. The plant not only offers professional medical support but also psychological and spiritual help to all who need it, struggling with illness the father or mother.
I firmly believe in the institution meets the expectations and needs of the modern man, who was so afraid of suffering and illness of their parents. That fear of reliving the suffering of the next meeting did not quite know how to deal with it. The facility is still being developed. Currently, its expansion is made in terms of infrastructure, so that you can take a greater number of patients in a more comfortable place for the modern medical equipment. This facility promotes a culture of life, about which so much written and said during his pontificate of Blessed Pope John Paul II. It contributes creatively to renew and build the civilization of life.
We remember that in some cases, putting the parents to such an institution is a moral duty, a moral duty from which we must not shirk in the name of unjustified medications, stereotypes and prejudices, who for various reasons will convince us. You have to bear in mind in this situation, especially the overall good of the other person, suffering father or mother. Only the sake of the good that we help you make a legitimate, because free from fear and prejudice decisions. Beware of false dilemmas and conflicts of values. Do not let the other obscures our judgment. Remember that every man, as is the right to a dignified death, so before that happens, he has the right to a dignified and professional care. And this is not always able to offer him, despite our honest intentions. Often it exceeds our physical and mental capabilities and also competence. If you own a variety of reasons (e.g., psychological) are not able to provide proper care to our parents, then we are morally obliged to provide them with the involvement of the medical institutions - nursing or third parties. However, this does not mean total withdrawal of support to parents and assign everything to these institutions or third parties. Our weakness in this matter does not release us from any liability.
It is, therefore, when we find ourselves in a situation of choice, put parents in a medical facility - Protecting think seriously, without fear, prejudice and stereotypes, a proposal offered by the care and medicinal plant "cordial Care". Personally, the opportunity to be in the mail this plant. I am impressed by the professionalism and the built environment there by friendly and cordial people. Then I thought that when I would be a situation that would have put their parents because of various reasons, he would not have the possibility to take care of them, entrust their staff was "cordial Needs", being quiet about their good and decent treatment.
Dr Piotr Duchliński
Vice-Director of the Institute of Philosophy of the Academy "Ignatianum" in Krakow
Lecturer at the Institute of Bioethics at the University of the Pontifical John Paul II in Krakow
